There have been seasons of my life where anxiety and depression have been at the forefront. Sometimes occurrences have aligned and anxiety is a result of stress, or a difficult situation brings about depression. Other times, it feels like there is no correlation between the reality of present circumstances and my emotional state. I think it’s that way for a lot of us. Life really can be far too overwhelming at times, and sometimes our thought patterns or feelings are the things that take control. In the midst of difficulty, sometimes it feels like the hardest thing to do is to open up and share with another person. But there is so much power in saying it out loud.
I think there are a lot of reasons why we stay silent in the midst of pain or uncertainty. Worry about judgment or misunderstanding certainly plays a role. Or the desire to not put our troubles on someone else. In fact, being too much can sometimes be a core fear. No matter how much progress there’s been, the stigma surrounding vulnerability in general is still very real. The word “vulnerable” is thrown around a whole lot, but so many people are still alone. There is so much relief that comes from stepping out of isolation, and there is a deeper relationship waiting to be built through our courage to open up and share our story - past or present.
The freedom and joy of no longer hiding is so worth the temporary discomfort or risk of judgement. Richness in relationships increases with authenticity, and emotional vulnerability is about letting yourself be seen for where you really are instead of where you’d like to be. Or better yet, letting yourself be known for who you are rather than how you might prefer to be viewed. There is such confidence that comes from being accepted as you are, and such beauty that unfolds with understanding and relating.
I have an incredible mentor and friend who walked with me through some of the darkest times of my illness back in college. Tanya is and will always be such a wonderful and meaningful person in my life, even after not seeing each other for long stretches of time. We met nearly 15 years ago, and our relationship has always been based on Jesus and honesty. She’s guided me in faith, stood firm in truth, and loved with such unconditional support. This past weekend we had a chance to meet for coffee again, as we have done many times before.
She met Nick and it was so sweet for him to meet somebody who has meant so much to me and been such a vibrant light in my life. We’ve had a real friendship, marked by walking together through challenges and celebrating through victories. She’s helped me trust, believe, and overcome. An emotional moment in our most recent coffee conversation was when she shared that she’s used my story, and the story of our friendship that began all those years ago, to mentor and support other women in the years since. You never know how the ripple effect of your journey, even the hard parts, can create a haven for others. Connections are deepened and community is built sometimes without you even knowing it. Your honesty can multiply hope.
Saying it out loud doesn’t make you weak, it’s a step toward healing and ultimately flourishing. I’ve learned that joy isn’t the absence of pain but the presence of hope. And hope comes by finding common ground and inspiration through others. Cultivating joy means cultivating our relationships. I encourage anyone to share their own story with someone you trust, or to encourage someone else by listening without judgment. Vulnerability isn’t weakness but an act of courage that can free others too. Having the ability to speak out is a gift to yourself and to those around you. I’m so grateful for people like Tanya in my life to show me what this looks like.
Your story matters. Saying it out loud might just be the key that unlocks someone else’s healing.
